A lot of people get really serious about the word "soulmates." I think this is based mostly in the idea that you have one soulmate somewhere out there that you're destined to be romantically involved with for the rest of your life, happily ever after, the end. Thanks, Disney. It's never been a narrative that made sense to me. When I got married (the first time) in Thailand, my mother asked me if I believed in soulmates. At the time I said I didn't, but mostly it was out of a sense of not believing in them in the way that she was asking. In retrospect, that man was most absolutely not a soulmate, and I knew it even then, but I was naive and scared of looking bad for backing out of marrying him - so I did it anyway kind of to save face - how shitty is that? What a terrified thing I was of looking bad to the people I sought approval from. It didn't end well - there's a story reminiscent of "Fight Club" I can't tell without laughing if you ever want to hear it, but that's for another time - we're talking about soulmates here, dammit.
I asked something like this once in a blog post several years back... Have you ever had a person who you maybe only just met, or you'd only known peripherally, or you'd talked to a couple times that you immediately knew you loved? This person is someone who you felt like you already knew, and you couldn't explain why. And then from that compulsory courageous vulnerability that exists when confronted by a soulmate, you connect with that person and find they feel the same. They share that explosive feeling of recognition and fireworks and peace and like you've known each other much longer and more deeply than either of you are aware of. The feeling of "home" - that is what a soulmate is for me.
Now I can't begin to explain what that means as far as the hows and the whys. All I know is we are in a sea of consciousnesses that we don't have that resonance with. And then, if we're lucky - and more importantly if we're paying attention and willing to follow that intuition - we cross paths with someone who for some reason unknown and incredibly profound, sees us - hears us - knows us - loves us - someone that we cannot help but mirror the same resonance with and reverence for. And there's no logical explanation. There is simply a peaceful understanding between you that you can't help but smile when you think of no matter where they are. I keep thinking of the Wachowski's show Sense8 - it feels like that to me.
Conversations with those people are always the greatest. Silence with them is as well. Sometimes you just sit and stare at each other for a bit, and chuckle at how great it is just being in that moment. You feel like you're on another plane of existence just being around one another. You are your most you in their presence - brimming with gratitude at being seen and seeing. You laugh more. I love finding those people, and although sometimes circumstances may mean I don't see or talk to them for ages, nothing changes when I see them again, or even if we never see one another again. The connection we share is timeless. It has no agenda, no expectation. It simply is. And it's perfect in however it shows up.
This is a bit rambly but I had to share it, because it's been continuing to bubble in my mind since my cafe conversations yesterday. There are people in my world, and you know who you are, that are "home" for me. As one such soulmate once said at the very beginnings of our acquaintance "I love you more than I know you." It's funny now because when I think about it - she knew me, because I knew her. We just had to give our conscious awareness a chance to catch up to something we unconsciously already felt. Sometimes that's how it is - I've said "I love you" to a person the second time we ever hung out once, because I had to - there was no other way it could be, even though I knew he knew. His reply - exactly what you'd expect. "You're fucking crazy!" I kid.
May we all continue to cross paths with those people who are home to us, and fuel one another in being the most brilliant form of ourselves we can be. Soulmates are a definite "fuck yes" in the Fuck Yes or No philosophy for living. Here's to finding those connections and reveling in them.
