Have you ever met someone who no matter time or space the connection you have is unchanged - untouched by the wars that ravage around us all? Like you had made a special request to the fantastic band that creates the soundtrack to the universe and they released this song, and it was completely and utterly yours? Someone you perhaps spend a lot of time telling yourself you're ok they aren't in your world more closely, but honestly you hate it more than words can say that they are so far away. Someone who when you see them after a period of perhaps two years you are overwhelmed with gratitude that they still live and breathe, and suddenly feel as though you've been holding your breath for a very long time and the air tastes so incredibly sweet. And you understand their communicative quietude as probably wisdom when they look at you and say yes... yes, they believe in meant to be, but it's not been worked out just yet. And you forgive them for "life getting in the way all the time" because you know it does for you too. Someone who when the two of you find yourselves within reach you cannot refrain from having some part of your bodies in contact at all times - a finger, a knee, a head on a shoulder - it doesn't matter as long as there is contact - as long as you both can sense the realness of the other - and you know that feeling is mutually why your fingers are entwined. And it's never contrived. And it's impossible to focus on anything but that touch and those eyes and that ridiculous Scottish-lilted laugh that cuts through the hidden Scottish pub where you decided Scotch for breakfast was better than nothing because your appetite had vanished the moment you saw one another.... And you chuckle to yourself, because Scotland. And you want more than anything just one moment longer of their fingers pressed into the back of your neck, and their giggling at the fact that you have tears welling up in your eyes. You laugh together at how completely idiotic it is that it's been so long apart, when it feels as though you'd said goodbye yesterday even tho so much happened in those two years. And you promise to both be better about being in touch even tho you know the only way that will happen is if one of you moves... and you know that means you, because it's who you are. And you let that seed start to germinate a little more in your mind. And you know the communication will be as it ever is, because you both live far too much in the here and now to worry too long for anything outside of it.... until you do. "You feel like home to me..." you say. And he says yes, he knows. You can't not tell him the truth always - you told him you loved him the last time you said farewell, which was the second time you'd been in one another's presence. It's always been so. And yes... You feel at home here... in this city... with a silence of the jigsaw puzzle falling into place in a way you can't describe with words... but with gazes and touch and laughter and... can't I just breathe for a little longer here? What does it take to have this not be yet another pause in a story so incredibly... ours. We pinky swear we'll see one another before another two years has passed. Might be in SF, might be NYC, might again be London. But it's a promise I plan to keep. I told my mother once I didn't believe in soulmates... I was lying. I just, didn't believe I'd ever find mine, or perhaps I'd be too dumb to recognize it when I did. I was wrong. Have you met someone like this? I have... once. Two years ago. When I asked the universe for a song I'd recognize. And there he was... the most beautiful song I'd ever heard. And OMG I am the sappiest person on Earth, I swear. He is so significant in my heart... on a level that is mind-blowing to me every time I think of it. Unconditional. Timeless. "There ain't nothing that we need 'cept one thing... and it ain't hope, though that can help I suppose. Stamina. Stamina. Stamina. Stamina...."
